We all like to stand out (well, most of us), but like everything in life, there is a time and a place and sometimes, standing out is actually a detriment to your well-being.

The gray man concept is a technique to blend in; here are some general points you must internalize and adopt if remaining innocuous is your goal.

What is the Gray Man concept?

The gray man concept is the theory behind the tactics, techniques, and procedures of reducing an adversary’s awareness of your presence or actions, allowing you to operate in a semi-permissive environment.

In simpler terms, it means doing things in a way that any others either don’t pay attention to you or dismisses you from being a target while you go about your business. Essentially, it comes down to how to hide in plain sight.

What the Gray Man concept is not

Due to the fact that most people’s idea of operating in a clandestine or covert (they’re different and require different mission preparations but that’s entirely out of the scope of an unclassified discussion) is what they see in movies, most people – and even way too many trained agents – have the wrong idea of what the gray man idea is all about.

The gray man concept isn’t necessarily about just hiding and not being noticed – doing that is quite easy in comparison.

The gray man concept is psychology-driven

What you wear can certainly have an effect on how gray you are but you have to go a bit deeper than that. Regardless of what you’re trying to do and how you’re able to do it, it all comes down to psychology – in particular, the psychology of your adversary.

It’s not always good to just walk around with a gray hoodie like this (although they do have their place and I have one I’ve used on surveillance) or to not carry something or act in a way that draws attention to yourself. It’s the attention that we’re trying to avoid.

There’s a science behind how people see you

When someone glances your way, they make a subconscious scan of what you look like and quickly file it away. They notice the broad strokes of how you look and not necessarily the details. It’s these broad strokes that you want to either manipulate or diminish.

You may not be able to help that you’re a blond or have freckles but if you do it right, you won’t have to. By manipulating the major things that people notice, you can manipulate how much they pay attention to you.

How can we use this knowledge to keep someone from paying too much attention?

Well, if someone is in a crowd of people who are all wearing casual clothes and you wear something drastically different such as a business suit, when people do a quick scan of everyone as they walk through, your identity will be distinguished from the rest.

If you’re going to try to blend into an area, you need to not just think about not wearing colors that may stand out, look at the general look of what everyone’s wearing and try to come up with the average look. If you’re at a beach and everyone’s wearing bright tropical colors, wearing something bland may actually get you noticed. In the same regard, if the majority of people are wearing blues and greens and you have the same style but it’s red, you may also stand out and garner some unwanted attention.

Your actions are part of your persona

Follow the crowd

If you’re wearing the right clothes in the right area with the right crowd but are the only one standing when everyone else is seated at a table, you’re gonna get noticed. If you’re at a library where everyone’s studying and you’re eating a sandwich, you’re gonna get noticed. Just like your clothing, try to take a quick inventory of what the typical person is doing and do that.

How you do something is as important as what you’re doing

Once you’ve decided on something to wear that will allow you to be in an area and not have someone take notice, you have to work on your demeanor. This part here is HUGELY important and usually how I used to pick out surveillance operators when I was on a counter-surveillance mission.

Your demeanor is basically not just what you’re doing but how you’re doing it. If you’re walking around with your head on a swivel looking for a threat, you look suspicious. It may work as part of a defensive posture so you don’t look like a victim but it could also draw some attention.

Ever heard that someone smells like a cop? That smell is typically due to their demeanor reminding them of how they envision cops act. Same thing goes for people who’ve spent a long time in the military. They have a certain air about them, stemming from their stature, how they walk, a different level of confidence or awareness, or one of several other traits that military people have in common. If you notice these things you can take advantage of them to help you either blend in with others in the area or lead someone astray about your background.

It’s the same thing as when you travel. If you walk around looking like a tourist, you may draw attention by criminals. They can tell by not just where you go and what you do but how long you stare at something or how you’re continually scanning the area because you don’t know exactly where you’re at.

In a survival situation, being able to blend in so as to not draw attention to yourself is almost always more important than making your presence known.

People who stick out almost always become targets if other people become desperate enough.

To learn more about the Gray Man technique and other ways of ensuring you do not stick out, please check out Graywolf Survival.